Happy Easter!
 
Have you ever thought about how difficult it is do receive kindness than to give it?
 
Earlier this week, I was in the grocery store and picked up four Cornish hens for Easter dinner. At checkout, I was told they had a limit on all meats right now and could only sell me two. I said, “OK, I’ll have to come back. I was just hoping to get all for Easter dinner now.” The lady who had checked out before me was still gathering her groceries and asked, “They will only give you two?” I said yes, because of the restrictions. She said, “I’m going to buy the other two for you.” She walked behind me in line, and I tried to tell her it wasn’t necessary. She insisted and told the clerk that she would be buying the other two for me. I did not protest much more because I knew that this was something that she needed to do.
I thanked her several times and she said, “Happy Easter. Enjoy your dinner.”
 
I am not sure I have ever been on the receiving side of such a random stranger act of kindness.
 
It started me thinking about receiving kindness and how do we learn to do that. Often, we show kindness because we see a need. Often, we hear stories of someone receiving kindness when they lost their jobs, didn’t have money to feed their children, down on their luck. These people we see as deserving kindness. For them to receive, it takes a certain type of humility, such as “swallowing pride.”
 
However, how do we receive kindness that we don’t have a tangible need for nor feel that it is a “deserved” earning? That takes a different level of humility and humbleness.
 
I thought about the Biblical story that tells of how Mary washed Jesus’ feet with expensive perfume. I realized that this story is about HOW to receive kindness. By letting her do what she needed to do for Him, Jesus provided an example in humility and humbleness. He didn't *need* it done, but she wanted to do it for Him. It didn't matter what anyone else thought about it, He accepted her kindness as it was given. He did not try to diminish it with "oh you shouldn't " or "I don't deserve this." He accepted it gracefully and humbly.
 
This acceptance of undeserved kindness shows us how important it is to not only learn to be kind to all, regardless of how we feel they deserve it, but also shows us the importance of accepting kindness.
 
The next time someone shows you kindness, do not dismiss it or try to brush it off. Accept it with a grateful heart and a humility that helps you better understand the kindness you offer.

Can we truly give kindness if we cannot receive?
 
I hope you have a lovely Sunday and rest of your week!

Hi!
I hope you are well and staying home as much as possible!

​With the current restrictions due to the coronavirus, many places are closed, including dance and fitness centers!

Which means it is necessary to dance at home (more than usual!).

Last year, friends who refurbished their bathrooms gave me two 3’ x 3’ mirrors. I also have a 6’ x 6’ portable dance floor.
 
With no where to work this weekend, I finally had time to convert part of the garage into my own personal dance and fitness space!
 
With my husband’s assistance, we got the mirrors on the wall of the garage. I then added a shelf for a fan and a whiteboard to make notes on the patterns, skills, or routines I want to work on that day. I moved my DIY ballet bar out there and have a space for my tablet to watch practice videos. We added some hooks above the mirrors and made a way to lift the dance floor onto the wall when not in use. That way I can still park the car in the garage!
 
I now have a space to focus on practicing my dances, working on my fitness routines, and a place to put the stress out of my mind for a bit.
 
While these days are difficult, they are also an opportunity to reevaluate our lives and find where our real fulfillment exists.
 
For me, I can dance anywhere and anytime. I encourage you to do the same.

Dance on the good days, and especially on the hard days. Through dance, we are able to express what words cannot. We give our mind and body an outlet through which it can pour any emotion.
 
Stay well and keep dancing forward!

(Disclaimer – this is a VERY BRIEF look into Abraham Maslow’s theory. There is much more depth and understanding that go into the interrelated stages. In the interest of this being a blog and not a comprehensive work, I decided to just brush the surface of the concepts. Please research more if you are interested in human motivation. I recommend starting with the YouTube video at the bottom of this article.)
 
If you follow me on Instagram (and you should! @dancergirl1983), earlier this week I posted a quote from psychologist Abraham Maslow: “In any given moment we have two options: To step forward into growth, or to step back into safety. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again.”
 
Maslow put forth a theory of self-actualization, which is known as Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. His five-stage theory (which has been expanded since, but for now we will stick to the five stages) puts forth the motivations that drive people in their actions. In his theory the lower levels of needs must be met before the higher levels can be initiated. These five stages are 1) physiological 2) safety 3) love/belonging 4) esteem and 5) self-actualization.
 
For the purpose of today’s blog, I am only going to focus on the first two levels: physiological and safety.
 
As we have seen in the stores, on the news, on social media these past few weeks, people have been purchasing excessive amounts of household essentials, such as toilet paper, disinfectants, and meat. Many others have made fun of those who have stocked up, referring to them as “hoarders.”  This is a response to the COVID-19 coronavirus pandemic that we are facing.
 
I wondered why people are selecting the items that they are selecting to stock up on. Then I remembered Maslow.
 
During this time, there is an immense uncertainty in our lives. We are being told to flip our lives upside down to help protect the world and to survive. This is frightening to people. Their very way of life is threatened and changing.
 
In Maslow’s first stage, physiological needs must be met before any other higher level can begin. Physiological needs include things such as food, shelter, water, sleep – all the things humans need to survive.
 
The second stage is safety. People seek order and predictability in their lives. We find comfort in our routine and feel threatened if our routine is messed up, especially for extended periods of time.
 
In looking at how people are reacting in light of the COVID-19 pandemic, I find it easy to see why. This crisis is threatening our way of life, our very lives. People are needing to find ways to meet their basic physiological and safety needs.
 
We are insecure about our finances (just look at the stock market this month), we are uncertain about our health, we are being asked to remove ourselves from society (stage three is belonging).
 
What I see when I see the empty shelves on the toilet paper aisle is not that greedy hoarders came through; I see that people are trying to feel safe and secure and that they will have those basic human needs met. Stock up on meat? That means you will have food. Stock up on cleaners? You want to keep yourself and others safe from disease.
 
It isn’t about hoarding or greed or keeping things from others. The motivation is our basic human drives to survive. We MUST be safe and have our basic needs met. Yes, we may not think logically at this time, but that is because we cannot. We cannot think outside of ourselves until those needs are fulfilled.
 
So think about this the next time you judge the person with four packs of toilet paper and 30 pounds of meat – they are not being greedy; they are not trying to keep it from others; they are simply trying to feel secure in life. They are not acting against another with malicious intent. They just want what we all want – security, predictability, and belonging.
 
For more information about Abraham Maslow:
 
https://www.britannica.com/biography/Abraham-H-Maslow
https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/aso/databank/entries/bhmasl.html
http://www.maslow.com/
 
https://youtu.be/L0PKWTta7lU (7 minute video – easiest way to get an overview!)

​Hi, Everyone!
 
I want to briefly ask you to be kind to each other.
 
With the chaos regarding the COVID-19 pandemic this past week, we have seen many different sides of our human nature.
 
Some have used humor to diffuse uncomfortable situations or release tension. Some are trying to prepare in the only way they can think of. Some are in denial and some are living out the hell of the illness right now.
 
Regardless of where your opinion lies regarding other individuals’ actions, you do not need to be mean about it. If you think what someone else is doing is crazy, that is fine. However, you do not need to broadcast it and try to make it seem as if you are superior. You have your own crazy parts to your personality.
 
We are all different and we are all the same. We only want to feel secure and when security is threatened, we each respond differently.
 
So just be nice to one another. When you are kind, you are beautiful. Fill the world with beauty.  
 
Have a great week!
 
Keep dancing forward!

I hope your day is going well!
 
Today I am going to talk about opportunities.
I had an awesome opportunity this week to meet with local individuals to learn about social media and "fly" in a  C-130 flight simulator. 
 
We talk about opportunities passing us by, taking an opportunity, seeking opportunity, and so on.

But really what is an opportunity?
 
According to www.dictionary.com, an opportunity is:
noun, plural op·por·tu·ni·ties.

1. an appropriate or favorable time or occasion:Their meeting afforded an opportunity to exchange views.
2. a situation or condition favorable for attainment of a goal.
3. a good position, chance, or prospect, as for advancement or success.

 
So, how do we know if something is an opportunity?
 
We check it against our goals.

If a situation arises and it is something that will help us get closer to our goals, that is an opportunity. If it does not, then it is not.
 
What if it is just the chance to do something fun?

Well, isn’t living a full life and having fun goals in our lives? Even if they are not written out goals, we all seek happiness and pleasure.
​
 Flying in a simulator is not directly related to any written goal. However, it was a lot of fun and not something I get to do everyday. It brought pleasure to my day. 

Opportunities come for each of us at different times in our paths. When we see what we want, even if what we want is simply a chance to explore something new, the right set of circumstances is our opportunity to drive ourselves forward.
 
For me, dancing was an exploratory opportunity that came at just the right time and place in my life. Taking that opportunity was the best decision for me.
 
Don’t regret “missed opportunities;” if it did not push you forward or other circumstances prevented it, then it was never an opportunity for you to begin with.
 
I hope that you look for opportunity daily in your life. Sometimes they are small, sometimes they are large. There are always opportunities to improve yourself and get you closer to who you want to be.
 
Have a great week!
Keep dancing forward!

Happy Sunday!
 
One day last week, we were having lunch at Burger King.

A lady and a young boy (son or grandson, I assume) come in the restaurant and are carrying a box.
 
I see the lady say something to three of the workers who have gathered at the counter  after she placed an order.
 
She says something to them and then opens the box. For a moment, they look at her questioningly, but then smile as they reach in the box and take something out.
 
The lady then stops at the soda machine and fills her and the boy’s cup.
 
They approach two patrons at a table and I observe a similar question and look, followed by a smile and taking something from this box.
 
She approached our table and I finally learn what she is doing.
 
“Would you like some words of encouragement?” she asks us as she opens the box.
 
“I’m sorry, what was that?” I say.
 
She repeats her question and I see the box is filled with tiny folded papers and those rubber band bracelets with words on them. She tells me to take whatever I want.
 
I take a paper, say thank you and she and the boy move on.
 
Unfolding the paper, it reads, “YOU ARE SPECIAL! Believe it!”
 
It was such a nice thing to do for complete strangers. What a simple and quiet way to show compassion to others!

I am very impressed with the way she is teaching the child how to be good and kind to others and expect nothing in return. He has been a quiet part of this with her, observing her unconditional love for her fellow human beings. How will this affect him as he grows up?
 
It was a very nice experience and one I think we can learn from. You never know what another is struggling with in their mind, heart, or soul. You can always just be kind. You do not have to do an overt act like this lady did (but you can!), but you can just be nice and smile at others. The cashiers, the grocery baggers, the mail/package deliverers, the person staring at you from the other car….just everyone.

Why? Because you are special. You are capable of kindness. You know how good it feels to receive encouragement. It feels good to give encouragement, too. Life is better when lived through love, not grievances and hatred. The world is not against you. Do not be against the world .
 
Have a great week!
Keep dancing forward!